Have you noticed your parents are failing in small ways? That’s how it usually starts. You see a stack of mail, out of date items in the refrigerator, forgotten prescriptions on the counter. Suddenly, you can’t ignore it any longer.
But mentioning it to your parents can start a whirlwind of emotions. They yell and scream – no way! They’ve always been independent, there isn’t a problem, and why would you ever mention it?
That adds stress to your life. You feel as if everything falls onto you. You’d love to hire in-home care for some of the daily necessities, but what can you do?
Seniors don’t like to admit they need help. They fought for their independence from the time they were infants. How dare anyone say they can no longer have it! They see it as an intrusion of privacy. They may even see it as a complete waste of money.
How are you ever going to get the freedom and peace of mind you need and deserve?
Look for tasks that are less invasive, and easier to transition into their daily lives. It might be something as simple as having someone take over lawn care. This one task can be your way in, to help them realize how beneficial it would be to give way to other tasks.
Most adult children want in-home care for their loved ones for two reasons:
- The safety of their loved one – peace of mind
- Time freedom – to reduce your to-do list
So you fight for an in-home caregiver knowing what it will bring to your life. But what about how your parents are feeling? Stop and listen to their objections. Hear what they have to say. Understanding their concerns can help you find new ways of approaching a problem, and finding ways to come up with a solution that will appease both of you.
This is for you, not for them
Sometimes the best way to play it is by playing on emotions. Blame it on you, not them. The idea of in-home care helps you worry less while you’re at work. It gives you more time to spend with your own family, giving you more time to spend on fun things with them rather than always be working on their to-do list. While this might not work for every family, you know your parents best. If they will find it easier to accept changes and blame it on you, take the blame for your sanity.
Start with temporary assignments
Sometimes things are easier to accept when there is an end in sight. If you’re going away for a business trip, in-home care can be used as a substitute for while you’re away. You can use small bouts of services while you pick up overtime at work. Hopefully, once they start seeing the benefit, they won’t argue as it becomes full time care.
Have you faced opposition from your parents as you introduce in-home care services? What have you found to work?