Adeste In-Home Care - Colorado

In-Home Care in Colorado

Think Assisted Living Is The Answer? You Won’t After Reading These Tips To Keep Your Parents At Home

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Depending on your parents’ health, caregiving may be quickly finding its way into your life as a full time job. Maybe even beyond. Are you on call day and night? Do you help them as much at 11pm as you do 11am?

You’re tired. You’re frustrated. You want your life back!

And when many adult children reach this point, they look at assisted living. But is it really the answer? Or are you exchanging one problem for another? One that will cost you a lot of money and energy in the long run.

There is another solution. But before we get there, let’s start with a little experiment.

How much care are you really providing?

Sometimes it’s difficult to really put a finger on how much care you’re providing. Many adult children are surprised at how quickly the time adds up.

For the next week, write down every task you do for your parents. If you pick up something at the drugstore for them, write it down. If you stop by their home to ensure they are taking their medicine, write it down. If you call to check in, write it down. No matter how large or small the task, jot down a few notes so you can get a clear picture of what you do every day. After a few days, you’ll see your life in living color.

Now it’s time for a little evaluation.

Are you surprised at how much care you are providing?

Don’t negate the importance of every task. It’s easy to say: But I had to stop by the drugstore anyway. While that might be the case, it does take extra time to wait in line for a prescription or compare labels on a new product. Would you have waited until you had more on your list if the shopping would have only been for you?

All of this takes time away from the important things in your own life. If you’re spending your time on chores and caregiving for your parents, it’s taking away from your life with your family and friends. And that can add up to insurmountable stress.

You love them. And you don’t mind. It’s what adult children do. We hear that a lot.

But it should never reach the point of overwhelm. It should never become a full time job.

There are lots of options.

Here’s the part most adult children get wrong. They move from “help” to assisted living without batting an eye. Because there are so many assisted living facilities popping up all over town, it’s become a mindset that it’s the natural progression for our parents when they start to fail. Yet there are very few situations that can’t be met by keeping your parents in the comfort of their home instead.

Because even when you put your loved one in assisted living, that won’t end your tasks. You may sign up for assisted living, but chances are the “package” you purchase, no matter how many zeros are at the end of the monthly fee, still won’t cover all there is to do.

If your mom doesn’t like the food, you’ll be bringing her meals. If she can’t make her own bed, the laundry service won’t be enough. If she gets lonely with only a few minutes of interaction with the staff each day, you’ll be dealing with the consequences. And that equates to hours of your time. Time you hoped to get back.

Instead, look to in-home caregiving. It provides you with all the care you need in the comfort of your parents’ home. It provides you with peace of mind as well as precious time. And what’s best is you can hire it 24 hours of the day if needed. And the cost will be a welcome relief when compared to assisted living; a savings that will ensure a better life for mom and dad.

Want to learn more? We’re just a phone call away.

How To Approach Caregiving When Siblings Disagree

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Whether you’ve gotten along with your sibling in the past or not, when you start the caregiving process for mom or dad, it brings on a whole new set of challenges and problems. All of a sudden, you find out what your siblings are really thinking. And they hide behind the most damaging words.

“How could you let strangers take care of mom?”

“Dad said he’d rather die than go to a nursing home. You can’t let him go.”

And the fighting begins.

While your parents might, in fact, have said they fear all that happens when they get old, they never intended to push off caregiving solely onto their children. Especially one of their children, splitting the family dynamics apart.

Siblings usually fight for one of two reasons:

  • They simply don’t agree.
  • They have ulterior motives in mind.

If you’ve always disagreed, the stress of caregiving isn’t going to bring you together.

Yet many siblings get it into their minds that at some point in time, a little inheritance will come their way. And when caregiving costs escalate, that dream can quickly slip away. Even if it is a subconscious dream.

If you’re the one providing care – even part time care – you know how quickly things add up.

You visit the grocery store to pick up a few things for you … and a few things for them.

You stop by the drug store to pick up an item for you … and adult diapers for them.

You take time out from work to tote them to appointments. You no longer have the time to dedicate to time with your own family. You can’t remember when you last took vacation time for a real vacation.

And then your parent takes a turn for the worse. They require even more medical care. It escalates quickly from a few hours a week to a few hours a day. Or worse. And the money quickly adds up.

If you’re the one providing most of the care, the only thing you can do is stand your ground. Keep records of everything you do. If you buy your parents clothing, track it. If you pick up extra food, keep track of that too. If things turn ugly and they start to complain, you’ll have grounds to stand on. And if it escalates, you’ll have the proof you need.

Get counseling or mediation if you need it. Turn to legal help if necessary. And always remember no relationship – even sibling relationships – are worth the cost of your health.

Caregiving Tips For Only Children

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When a parent enters the phase of life where they need caregiving, it takes an army to ensure everything is in place. There are doctors, therapists, financial issues, daily tasks to takeover, decisions to be made; it all becomes overwhelming very quickly.

Caregiving requires a little bit from everyone around the person in need. But most of all, they rely on their family for support.

If the person has adult children, much of the work falls onto their shoulders. One may provide one on one care, while another may handle phone calls and financial situations from afar. Sibling talk, confer, make decisions together, and sometimes fight. Oh, the fights. It breaks some families apart.

But what about an only? Only children don’t have another sibling to rely on. The welfare of mom or dad rests entirely on their shoulders. Well …

Not exactly. Only children are often very resourceful. Only children are used to being onlies. Which means they’re often better prepared to meet situations head-on.

Onlies are never alone

Only children learn early to reach out to their community for what they need. They ask aunts and uncles and cousins for help. They aren’t afraid to bring a friend into their confidence. If you’re an only, continue that spirit as you take on a caregiving role. Realize early that you can’t do everything, nor should you. Now is the time to build your team. The more support you can bring in early, the more on top of everything you’ll be throughout this process.

Create a plan

Firstborn and only children have a lot in common. They have higher IQs, are more likely to be high achieving, and in general are more successful than siblings born second or third. And as most successful people know, the key to their success is by creating and sticking to a plan.

Caregiving is no different. The more you plan for it, the easier it will be as you enter that phase of your life. If you’re worried about mom or dad, don’t wait for the next step; act now. Start building your roadmap to ensure you do things in the most efficient manner. And if you can get input from your parents, all the better. Collect all documentation: account information, legal documents, insurance coverage, assets. If your parents haven’t created wills, legal wills, and power of attorneys, contact a lawyer and start drafting the different documents you’ll need. It makes the process easier when challenges come your way.

Always be looking for resources

Throughout the caregiving process, you’ll meet all kinds of people. And every one of them has the potential to offer a wealth of information. Never let the opportunity pass without asking a question.

  • What would you recommend I do …?
  • What’s the best way to approach …?
  • Is there anything else I should know about …?
  • What would you do?

You’ll be surprised at what’s available to you if you simply ask. Not only does it provide you with strength in numbers, but it also allows you to provide more care for yourself. And as the sole care provider for your parents, you’ll cherish that “you” time even more when you realize your parents are receiving the best care possible.

Is Your In Home Caregiver Making These Mistakes?

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Caregiving isn’t an exact science. Likewise, in home caregiving services aren’t all the same.

If you’re weighing your options, it’s important to remember that every caregiver takes their own approach. The critical part of the process is to keep communication lines open both with your caregiver and with the in home caregiving staff.

We find the mistakes people complain about the most can usually be cleared up with a quick conversation.

Multiple Caregiver Confusion

If you use round the clock care, you’ll have several caregivers providing for your loved one’s needs. Each caregiver will have their own approach, and it’s natural to prefer one over the other. The key is ensuring they all provide what’s needed the most in a way you desire. How will you keep all caregivers on target with needs? Who will be the point person for ensuring everything is completed according to the client’s needs and desires? When in doubt, ask. And find a solution both you and your caregiving service can adhere to.

Punctuality

Occasional lateness is human – we all get stuck in traffic once in a while. But continual tardiness can be an inconvenience and have a huge impact on caregiving needs. Instead of silently fuming, address lateness the moment it happens. You can get a pretty good feel for punctuality after a few days. If it appears to be a problem, discuss your concerns with the staff.

Inconsistent Care

We know a lot of caregivers haven’t received the same levels of training. Some in home caregiving services are merely looking for an individual they can send out on a job. Other services spend the time prequalifying potential caregivers using many different criteria. How is the service you’re considering evaluating their caregivers? Do they update their skills? Do they require further training? It’s okay to ask what skill sets a caregiver has, and how they approach further advancement.

Cultural Differences

We all have certain ways of saying things, and different standards for cooking our meals. It’s a family thing. It’s a cultural thing. And sometimes caregivers do things their way – it’s what they’re used to. Staying silent only exacerbates the situation. If you have needs and desires, voice them from the beginning.

In home caregiving is more than just caregiving; it’s the start of an intimate relationship. And like any relationship, good communication is mandatory.

Are you thinking about using in home caregiving for your loved one? The best place to start is with a complimentary consultation.

Financing In Home Care: A Better Option Than Assisted Living

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Something needs to be done with mom. She can’t live on her own anymore. Maybe assisted living is the answer.

Has your world revolved around those statements these past few weeks? Many adult children find themselves in that place where a decision about what to do with mom becomes front and center in your life. And an assisted living facility (ALF) seems like a good choice. Many ALFs are popping up all over town; they appear to be the right choice for so many.

Many adult children say yes to ALFs. And they do so with the right intentions. Assisted living facilities seem to offer:

  • A safe place to live
  • Lots of companionship
  • Less worry for you

That’s win/win, right? Well …

For many adult children who move mom into an ALF, that’s when the real problems begin. Because that’s when you start realizing your assumptions about the place are way off base.

You thought it was a safe place for her to live. But safety is relative. Sure, she might not have a smaller space to navigate, and have a helping hand only a press of a button away. But you’ll quickly find the safety features are limited at best. And if you want something, you’ll pay. And pay and pay – most things are “extras” on their ever-growing a la carte list.

You may have figured mom would be happier with a group of people her own age. But she doesn’t know the people near her. They tend to stay to themselves, locked up tight in their rooms. Some of them have medical conditions that prevent them from taking an active role and getting to know their neighbors. Mom may become lonelier than she was before.

You thought you’d worry less with her in a safe place. Now you worry more. Is she getting the proper care? How much more will you have to pay to get the level of care you desire? Will your mom be forced out as her chronic illness progresses? How long can this go on?

ALFs … they aren’t all they are cracked up to be. In fact, as in home caregivers, we continue with a lot of our patients as their adult children move them from their homes into an assisted living facility. Why?

Because in home caregiving is personalized service. It’s one on one care – something you’ll never get in an ALF.

For a lot of adult children, they discover there is a better way than putting mom into assisted living. In home care allows your mom to stay in the comfort of her home and get the care she needs in a personalized way.

And you can do that easier than you think.

For many, they sell mom’s home to afford assisted living. But what if you could pay for care while mom still lives at home? It’s called a reverse mortgage. For many families, it’s the best of both worlds. It allows mom the care she deserves. It allows you to have peace of mind knowing she’s safe and out of harm’s way.

At this critical point in your family’s lives, it’s essential to gather all the information you need before you make your final choice. If you want a second opinion or to learn from our years of experience in the caregiving industry, give us a call. We’re here for you and your family.

The Trouble With Most Assisted Living Facilities

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Most adult children find themselves in a caregiving role quickly. They go from nothing to all-in in a relatively short period of time.

There’s no training for it. There isn’t a mandatory class you have to take to learn the ins and outs. In fact, in most cases, it’s a little more like sinking rather than swimming.

It starts with a phone call. Maybe your mother slipped and fell. Or your dad was found wandering the streets. You may have noticed issues here and there, but suddenly it’s glaringly obvious something needs to be done.

Is assisted living the answer?

Assisted living facilities are being built all over town. There must be a good reason for them, right? Maybe that’s your answer. But before you head in for your first tour, keep a few things in mind.

According to a recent Forbes article, there are a lot of problems with ALFs – assisted living facilities.

Unlike skilled nursing facilities, ALFs don’t fall under the same regulatory requirements. They are regulated only at the state level, and that can change significantly from place to place.

There are enormous differences in payments. They also differ in the kinds of benefits they’ll fund.

There are questions about safety. One report showed turnover in personal care aides at more than 37 percent in one year.

They can force out your parent once they need more care. (They rarely tell you that on the initial tour.)

Even defining the term “assisted living” comes into question. Does it mean skilled nursing, or simply a place with minimal services at best?

And unfortunately for you, your parents’ caregiver, the only way you find out about the weaknesses is after you’ve paid the money and your elderly parent is living there. Then the weaknesses become glaringly obvious.

A better way is in home care.

In home care allows your loved one to remain in their home with personalized, one on one attention.

Is Your Mom or Dad Healthy Enough To Get Behind The Wheel?

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In 2009, 33 million licensed drivers were over the age of 65. By the year 2030, that number is expected to increase to 70 million.

You mom or dad may complain about the road, how everyone seems to be in a hurry. And studies show that younger drivers are more aggressive. But aging impacts driving in different ways.

Arthritis can make the impact of turning the wheel, or turning your head to look over your shoulder, a difficult thing to do.

Medications can impact judgment.

Limited mobility might cause a foot to slip from the accelerator to the brake, with slower reaction times to correct the situation.

But then, you might know all of this. You might be witnessing it with your mom or dad. Maybe you’ve seen dents and scratches on their car. Maybe you’ve followed them, wincing a time or two as you watch them head into a busy intersection. Maybe they’ve said things that have made you cringe.

Should you take away the keys? That’s not as easy as it seems. They may fight you. And they may win. What should you do? [Read more…]

Coping With Elderly Parents

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As your parents age, you start stepping in and taking on more responsibility. You might check in on them frequently to ensure they are eating properly. Or make a few phone calls on their behalf as they seem to get easily confused.

You’re helping them. A “thank you” or at least a smile might be nice. Instead, all you receive is rage.

Have you ever felt like your parents are driving you crazy? Have you ever thrown your hands into the air and asked what you’re doing and where you should go from here? Caregivers everywhere have felt like that a time or two.

People are people. And while some of it might be who your parents are as people, you also have to keep in mind that your parents are changing. In some cases, this isn’t who they are; it’s their health that’s causing them to act out.

Rage is one of the most common emotions a caregiver will face. And when you think about it, it makes sense. Your parent might not feel the best. That might have felt that way for a long time. And when they deal with someone daily who asks what they can do for you, eventually it takes its toll. So they yell and scream. They’re irritable. You have to look past the rage and identify the root cause. Chronic pain can be difficult to live with. If it’s Alzheimer’s or some other form of dementia, they may not be fully aware of their behavior. Once you identify what’s causing the rage, it’s easier to step aside and overlook the impact. [Read more…]

6 Steps To Make Long Distance Caregiving A Little Easier

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When you live far away from your parents, you’ve probably established a routine. A phone call one day a week to check in. You share everything that’s happened during the week. You assume they do too.

But then you start noticing subtle changes. They become vague. They aren’t as willing to share.

Then you visit and find expired food in the fridge. Maybe a small dent on the car.

Then things escalate quickly. You receive a call about a minor car accident. Or a call from one of their friends saying they are in the hospital. And suddenly your world escalates out of control. You have a new job on your hands and it’s anything but exciting. What do you do now?

Change your line of communication

As you start to discover little things, it’s easy to put them aside and ignore them. But when you live hundreds or thousands of miles away, you don’t have that luxury. Bring up the things that concern you. Bring up things that seem out of place. Even if your mom or dad push it aside and won’t open up, it sets the dialog for the future. It gives you a chance to show your support.

Find your allies

When you visit, will your loved one allow you to go to doctors appointments? Can you attend the meetings and events they go to on a regular basis? Find allies in the people closest to your parents. Leave your contact information with people that will help you stay in the loop. Your mom might leave out the fact she was in an accident. But a trusting neighbor might give you the heads up as to how bad it truly was.

Put together a care book

The next time you visit, put together a file or notebook filled with the most important information in your loved one’s life. Add in medical information, financial advisers, lawyers, friends, and neighbors. Include all prescription information, including the pharmacies they use, and the dosage of each medicine. Gather all information about your parents’ income and assets, including where they bank, what credit cards they have, insurance policies, even passwords they use to complete phone and online transactions. The more information you have on your end, the easier it will be to handle any situation as it arises.

Get authority

Are your parents willing to let you have power of attorney? Are they ready to release all information to you and allow you to help in certain situations? This is something that may have to grow over time. Start small. Talk about it frequently to get your parents comfortable with the idea.

Coordinate with the rest of the family

Do you have siblings that also share in responsibility? Or maybe another family member that can take on part of the responsibility? It’s important to have a family meeting and decide who takes care of what. Nothing can be more frustrating to all of you, including doctors and other professionals, is having to repeat yourself again and again. Who will be in charge of what? You should also set up regular meetings to ensure everyone is on the same page. Can’t agree between yourselves? Find a mediator who can help.

Line up home services

For many adult children, they rarely learn about their options before they need them in an emergency situation. Assisted living or nursing care is usually all they understand. But there are many options out there that can help your loved one stay strong and independent for as long as possible. In home care gives your loved one the individualized attention they deserve while staying in the comfort of their home. It also gives you peace of mind.

What questions can we answer for you as you go through this new phase of life?

What If You Care Too Much?

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Feeling tired physically and emotionally? Facing burnout but struggling with the knowledge you can’t? Can’t quite put a finger on why you feel the way you do? You might have compassion fatigue.

Compassion fatigue is described as having physical and emotional exhaustion mixed with extreme decreases in your ability to empathize with the one you are caring for. It’s a form of traumatic stress, resulting in the build up of stress through helping or wanting to help those in need.

Compassion fatigue is often referred to as burnout. But they aren’t the same things. Burnout happens over time. Compassion fatigue is less predictable and comes on suddenly without warning. How do you know if it’s happening to you?

First, get educated

Caregiving is as much an education for you as it is for the one you’re caring for. The most common signs of compassion fatigue include: [Read more…]