When you are out running errands, taking the kids to school, or working full time, do you worry about your elderly parents? Do you wonder what they are doing, if they are eating properly, and if they really should be driving to and from doctors’ appointments?

If you’ve reached that point in your life, you know the worry that can fill your days. And more importantly the challenges that face you every day as you continually fight with your parents about their health and lifestyle. They raised you – how could you ever be in the position of telling them what to do?

Yet in many cases, that’s where many of us end up. And because of the close relationship we have with our parents, they know exactly what buttons to push and what to say to make us feel guilty about having to make certain choices. To keep them safe though, the choices need to be made. But it doesn’t have to be a choice of assisted living or skilled nursing. In many cases an elderly sitter can help give you peace of mind, and help your parents stay on track for staying at home for as long as possible.

1. What is the daily routine? Are your parents getting proper nutrition from the meals they eat? Are they taking prescriptions on time? Are they getting to doctor appointments and understanding the doctors’ directions? Are they paying bills on time? In many cases an elderly parent can appear to be functioning fine, until they reach a point when everything snowballs on them. Stepping in early can prevent that issue.

2. Be a neutral party, and report the facts. Do you have siblings or other family members that are a part of the care process, yet differ in the belief of what needs to be done? An elderly sitter can be there to assess the situation, take in what’s happening, and report back to you and other family members the facts of the situation. They can remain neutral, and only provide you with the information you need to take the best care of your parents.

3. An elderly sitter can help you develop a daily system. Everyone likes a daily routine.  Whether its getting up and ready for the day, eating at the same time, or activities throughout the week, a system gives us things to look forward to. When you’re busy getting the kids back to school, attending extra curricular activities, and trying to keep up with your own daily routines, its nice to know an elderly sitter is establishing a routing for your parents. If all the chores for the week are done under her guidance, its nice to know your weekly visits can be centered on visiting, not chores.

Grandparents Day is almost here. Every year on the Sunday after Labor Day in September, we take a day to celebrate the love and bond we share with our grandparents. This year on September 12th, families around the country will take the time to get together as families, and share a few moments together.

Grandparents Day was originally started by Marian Lucille Herndon McQuade, a housewife in West Virginia. She spent time working with senior citizens, and quickly realized the important role they played in a family’s life, and decided that importance needed to be recognized in a national way. President Jimmy Carter agreed, and put Grandparents Day into law in 1978 as a way for people to recognize the important role a grandparent plays.

Grandparents of today bring many things to a child’s life. When they are young, they may provide love, support and guidance. Somewhere along the way, roles may change. If you find yourself in a caregiving role for a grandparent, or if your grandparent is confined to his or her home, celebrating may be a bit more challenging. Ultimately what a grandparent wants is time together, and to enjoy the relationship they’ve built over the years. Here are some ideas for you to share with your grandparents.

• Share photographs. Go back through your photographs, and put together important memories you’ve shared along the way. Create a scrapbook, or have an album printed through a place like Shutterfly.

• Have kids of your own? Have them make something. A special ornament, frame or other craft project can become the center of attention in their bedroom or living room. Or bring a craft project along, and do it together.

• Create something personalized. Personalization can be placed on everything from mugs, to canvas bags, to calendars and sweatshirts.

• Share a video. Have a video from a wedding or other special family event? Bring it out and share the memories. Your grandparents will love seeing times gone by, and reliving great memories they shared with you.

One of the most frustrating things about communicating with an Alzheimer’s patient is getting the message across. It can be frustrating for both parties, especially as the disease progresses. Here are tips to help you learn how to communicate better as a caregiver of an Alzheimer’s patient.

Slow down. The faster you talk, the more frustrating it can be to listen and respond. Talk clearly and focused on each word.

Use common language. Don’t throw in new ideas that the person has never heard of. Stay clear and consise, and focus on what the person knows and understands.

Speak with a smile and focus on the eyes. Everyone likes to feel as if they are being listened to. Your body language says it all.

Let the person you are caring for set the pace for the conversation. If they need time to process between sentences or thoughts, wait until they are ready to move on.

Don’t finish a person’s thoughts – give them the time and space needed to complete a thought. It may take more time, but it can help build their confidence, and avoid frustration.

Ask questions. “Do you understand?” and “Can I rephrase that for you?” can give a person the chance to think through what’s being said in the conversation.

Be patient. It may take more time, but it will lead to a greater level of understanding. And acceptance.

One of the most difficult times of your life is when you get the call that mom or dad is in the hospital, and you know things are about to change. Will they be able to manage in their home? And more importantly, how will you be able to manage it all from hundreds of miles away?

Start by gathering all of your parent’s medical information. Get names and numbers of all doctors, dentists, surgeons, specialists, pharmacists, and medication records. Make a special file so you can manage it from home, and quickly be able to call the one you need.

Make copies of critical documents, such as wills and power of attorney records. Make sure every member of your family has a copy, including brothers and sisters.

Set up plans and go over them with your parent. If a neighbor or friend will be driving them to doctors’ appointments, create a sheet with phone numbers and schedules and give to everyone involved in the process. If you have regular appointments and can’t get coverage for driving, now may be the perfect time to introduce in home care services to your mom or dad. This will give you the guarantee the appointments are made and kept.

Use technology. Handle as many issues as possible via email with doctors and technicians. You can also invest in video monitoring systems, alert home systems in case your parent falls, and devices that can help remind when pills should be taken, or even turn off appliances like the stove if they go unused for a period of time.

Walk through his or her home and make changes. With so many new tools and fixtures specifically made for aging in place, you can make your parent’s home a much safer place to live. To with an aging in place specialist, and introduce the best tools that will help keep your parents’ independence.

Invest in elder sitters or companion care specialists. This can be your lifesaver – your window into the way your parents live. You can have daily or weekly phone conversations to keep up to date, and put your mind at ease.

You may have noticed a small change in your parent, spouse or loved one. They forget things on a more frequent basis. Or they have trouble remembering even the simplest things. Is that a sign of dementia? Or is it the start of Alzheimer’s?

Here is a guide to help you understand the differences between dementia and Alzheimer’s.

Dementia is defined as a significant loss of intellectual abilities, such as memory capacity, severe enough to interfere with social and occupational functioning.  The social and financial burden on families can be nothing short of overbearing.   Unlike Alzheimer’s, dementia man occur at any age for a variety of reasons.

The type of dementia that is seen among younger adults is called reversible dementia.  Reversible dementia is usually temporary and may result from dehydration, medical errors, accidents, or head trauma.  This form of dementia is typically treated through medical intervention and as the name implies; can be reversed.

The other type of dementia is known as non-reversible dementia which generally appears in older adults.  This form of dementia gets progressively worse over time and eventually leads to death.

Alzheimer’s is the most common cause of dementia.  Current statistics indicate 5.3 million Americans have Alzheimer’s Disease.  The numbers will increase to 14 million by the middle of the century, with a new case developing every 70 seconds.  Alzheimer’s is almost exclusively limited to the elderly population.  However, early onset Alzheimer’s can effect adults in their fifties, with cases involving adults in their 50’s and even 40’s expected to rise dramatically.

Alzheimer’s is generally characterized by memory loss and the inability to perform routine tasks.  It is not uncommon for those with Alzheimer’s to forget birthdays, how to manage money, and the names of family members.  In some cases, spouses may even forget the names of their life long partners and may not recognize them as they move towards the end of life.

As you watch your mom or dad age, you’ve probably noticed certain things he or she can’t or won’t do anymore. Things they always loved to do, and now simply can’t manage it. While many things are hard to lose or give up, one of the hardest is the keys to the car.

Seniors want to still be able to get around town without assistance, and enjoy the feeling of being independent. But there may come a time when having the senior in your life out on the road isn’t safe anymore- for themselves and for the people around them.

While it may be one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do, it’s important to keep an eye on how well they are doing. Age is not an indicator. Some people can drive well into their seventies, eighties and beyond, while others cannot or should not.

Statistics show that the older population is far more likely to receive traffic citations for the simple things you do every day – turning improperly, running red lights and stop signs, and failing to yield. They are more likely than all other age groups to be involved in multi-vehicle accidents, and are far more likely to be seriously hurt as the result of an accident. Fatal crash rates rise dramatically when a person reaches their 70th birthday.

As your parent continues to age, watch for signs they may be having trouble behind the wheel.

A simple way to check up on your senior’s driving abilities is to look at their vehicle. Are there new scratches on the paint, or dents in the bumper? This may be an indication of how your loved one is performing on the road.

When you head out for a day of fun, don’t automatically take the wheel. Instead, ask your mom or dad to drive and watch carefully how they handle certain situations. Do you notice them slowing down for green lights, or turning in front of other cars? Do they get confused on how to get to where you are going, even if they’ve been there before?

If your loved one has dementia or Alzheimer’s, you may find them continually finding reasons to drive, even if you’ve told them not to, or if they have no reason to drive. Or perhaps they’ve even gotten lost while out driving in a familiar area, which may turn into a frightening situation for both you and your parent. These are warning signs that you may want to think about continuing to let him or her drive.

Taking away your loved one’s car keys isn’t an easy choice, and for a senior, you are not only taking away their keys, but much of their freedom as well. But the decision to keep them off of the road may result in saving lives- including that of your loved one.

Think your elderly parent or spouse might have memory issues – maybe even the start of Alzheimer’s? Maybe its time to understand a little more about the stages of Alzheimer’s.

Misplacing car keys. Not remembering a familiar name. Occasional forgetfulness. That’s a normal part of aging.

Alzheimer’s disease stretches far beyond the little things. Alzheimer’s symptoms may not appear the same way in every person. Watch and track change from normal behavior in your loved one.  If you’re seeing any unusual lapses in cognition, which may include memory, or if your loved one experiences uncharacteristic mood swings, make a special appointment to see the doctor. That may signify something more.

Alzheimer’s disease affects approximately 5 million people in the U.S. Over time, Alzheimer’s disease gradually destroys a person’s memory and ability to learn and carry out daily activities such as talking, eating, and going to the bathroom. As the disease progresses, individuals may also experience changes in personality and behavior. Unfortunately, there are no cures for Alzheimer’s disease and there is no way to predict how fast someone will progress through the stages of the disease.

Alzheimer’s Disease: Progressing through Three Stages

In people with Alzheimer’s disease, changes in the brain may begin 10 to 20 years before any visible signs or symptoms appear. Some regions of the brain may begin to shrink, resulting in memory loss, the first visible sign of Alzheimer’s disease.

Over time, Alzheimer’s disease progresses through three main stages: mild, moderate, and severe. Because it is not easy to look inside a living brain to see the damage Alzheimer’s disease causes, these stages are characterized by a collection of signs and symptoms and behaviors people with Alzheimer’s disease experience.

Mild Alzheimer’s Disease

People with mild symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease often seem healthy, but they are actually having trouble making sense of the world around them. It often takes time for an observer to realize that something is wrong because the initial symptoms are often confused with changes that take place in normal aging. Symptoms and early signs of Alzheimer’s disease may include:

• Difficulty learning and remembering new information
• Difficulty managing finances, planning meals, taking medication on schedule
• Depression symptoms (sadness, decreased interest in usual activities, loss of energy)
• Still able to do most activities such as driving a car, yet may get lost going to familiar places

Moderate Alzheimer’s Disease

In moderate Alzheimer’s disease, the damaging processes occurring in the brain worsens and spreads to other areas that control language, reasoning, sensory processing, and thought. In this stage, symptoms and signs of Alzheimer’s disease become more pronounced and behavioral problems may become more obvious. Signs and symptoms of moderate Alzheimer’s disease may include:

• Forgets old facts
• Continually repeats stories and/or asks the same questions over and over
• Makes up stories to fill gaps
• Difficulty performing tasks
• Has trouble following written notes
• Has trouble doing daily tasks such as using the shower and toilet
• Agitation and/or behavioral symptoms are common, and include restlessness, repetitive movements, wandering, paranoia, delusions, and hallucinations
• Begins losing intellect and reasoning
• Lack of concern for appearance, hygiene, and sleep become more noticeable

Severe to Late Stages of Alzheimer’s

By the time a person is in the late stages of Alzheimer’s they will require round the clock care. They will:

• Be confused about past and present events
• Have a total loss of recognition of familiar places or people
• Have a total severe or total loss of verbal skills
• Problems with swallowing, incontinence and illness
• Unable to care for self, and suffer extreme mood swings and behavioral problems

Some jobs naturally lead to more stress, and possibly even depression. And if you’ve ever been in the caregiving role for a parent or loved one, you understand that caregiving leads the way.

While its easy to understand how a caregiver can drift into depression, especially if you are living day to day with someone who may have chronic pain or may be diagnosed as having a terminal illness. Your life is heavily affected. But even with everyday problems, there are ways to put yourself on a healthy track, and avoid depression yourself.

The following are some suggestions for a natural approach to a healthy lifestyle, which may help provide some relief of depression symptoms:

• Maintain proper sleep and hygiene. Don’t fall into the trap of throwing on a sweatshirt because you’re not going anywhere anyway. Treat your caregiving role as a job, and separate it from living a healthy life
• Eat a well-balanced diet, and avoid excessive amounts of caffeine.
• Participate in a structured and supervised exercise program as advised by your health care professional
• Set realistic goals for yourself.  Don’t try to be everything all the time.
• Create small and manageable tasks.  Work out a schedule and try to maintain it.
• Let others help you. Don’t wait for them to offer a lending hand – ask for help. Volunteer people closest to you for small favors and odd jobs. Simply ask.

Check with your local mental health center or your family doctor – they can provide you with information about support groups with other caregivers.  Therapy and group sessions can be a valuable tool both to get you outside of your caregiving role and to introduce you to others facing similar situations.

Remember to not take personally what is happening to your loved one.  You cannot be an effective advocate if your emotions are too tightly wound up in the person you are caring for.  This may be a new journey for both you and your loved one. How you get through it is entirely up to you.

Caring for your aging parents can be emotionally and physically taxing. Between managing daily routines, organizing appointments and providing specialized medical support, there may be precious little time left in your week for care for your own needs. Companion agencies provide a wide variety of services to elderly clients. Companion agencies may offer in-home nursing care, daily living assistance or volunteer support for extracurricular activities. If you are considering a companion agency for your parents, be sure to ask the right questions so that everyone understands what to expect from the arrangement.

What services do your companions provide?
Some agencies employ trained staff who are able to provide medical support services while other companion agencies are run by volunteers who are better suited for daily living assistance or running errands. Prepare of list of the needs your parents have to present to the companion agency representative. The companion agency should be able to tell you which services they are able t provide.

Are your companions first aid certified?
Every companion agency should provide caregivers that have some basic medical training. Even if it is unlikely that you parents will ever need medical attention, knowing that they are with a certified companion may offer you valuable peace of mind.

How is a companion selected?
Many companion agencies are short staffed, and may rely on a constantly shifting workforce. Most agencies match clients with whatever companions are available at the time. However, an agency may be willing to specially pair your parents with a companion if your parents have special medical needs or particular interests.

Will my parent have the same companion for the duration of the arrangement?
Most reputable companion agencies try to keep clients with the same companion. Consistency helps build meaningful relationships between companions and clients, which contributes to an improved quality of life for all involved parties.

What are our payment options?
Specialty agencies or private agencies that work with nurses or in home care specialty may charge a one time fee or a per visit fee. Ask the representative if there are alternative payment options available such as sliding scale fees. Depending on your needs, there is always a perfect option for you and your family.

Where we live, be it a house, condo or apartment, it should always be a place of comfort and safety.  Most people don’t realize there may be hidden dangers that could result in potentially serious injury.  Telephone cords, throw rugs, and defective wiring can be life threatening, especially if you have trouble seeing or are impaired in mobility.

The best gift we can give ourselves and our elderly parents and loved ones is a safe environment.  The following items should be checked and or installed in every residence:

• Install a Smoke Alarm and a Carbon Monoxide Detector
• Install clean furnace filters at the beginning of the Fall season
• Replace electrical outlets that show a smoke pattern
• Replace any frayed cords on appliances
• Use a cordless phone that can be taken anywhere in the residence
• Set the water heater temperature at 120 degrees to avoid any scalding incidents
• If the Senior lives alone, consider investing in a personal response system
• Remove clutter and loose rugs

The best way to avoid injuries or tragedies in your dwelling is to be aware of your surroundings.  Make sure cords are covered with rugs, stairs are kept clutter free and furniture is arranged in a way that gives a clear walking path.  Fasten loose rugs and runners so they do not bunch.  Even if a Senior does not use a wheel chair, installing ramps around all the entrances of the residence will prevent a fall while exiting.  Check the general condition of all stairs and repair or replace any that are uneven or in danger of breaking.

Also spend extra time looking at the bathroom. More people fall in this room than any other, and it can be fatal.  Make sure there are properly installed grab bars, line the bathtub or shower with a non-slip rubber mat or abrasive strips, and in case of a blackout, have battery operated lights.  Make sure there are night lights in the bedroom and a lamp near the bed.  Keep a list of emergency numbers in large print by every phone extension and make sure the house, apartment or condo number is large enough to be read by emergency personnel.

Perform a monthly inspection of the residence so if something even remotely resembles a hazard correct it immediately.  Don’t wait until something happens to address an issue. Use your common sense, and keep everyone safe.