Adeste In-Home Care - Colorado

In-Home Care in Colorado

Avoiding These Caregiver Emotions

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Caregiving is one of the most difficult jobs you’ll ever take on. And no matter how hard you try, there are a world of emotions you’ll cycle through as you start and end each day.

It’s natural to feel these things. How you deal with them determines how well you move forward.

Guilt

Guilt can show up in a number of different ways. It can come if you believe you aren’t doing enough. It can peak its head if you feel like you’re doing the wrong things or don’t have the right resources at your disposal. It comes from feeling your “wrong” and don’t have what it takes to do it the “right” way. Your perceptions always seem to get in the way.

Caregivers always seem to move in the “coulda, shoulda, woulda” lane of life. They always have a list of things that are impossible to get done. But if you don’t find a way to push through the guilt, you’ll start seeing the signs in your own health.

When guilt nags at you, stand back and assess: what’s triggering this? How realistic are your expectations? How would others view the situation from the outside looking in? Guilt isn’t something that will ever go away. But you can learn to recognize it, give yourself permission to feel it, and learn how to move through to the other side.

Sensitivity

Have you ever felt the world is out to get you? You get tired of family and friends making suggestions – yet they don’t offer help. You get tired of watching everyone else have their freedom – while you get busier with mundane tasks everyday.

The problem with sensitivity in caregiving is you spend a lot of time in your head. You don’t have people to talk out explosive situations; you deal with things on your own. You justify your daily life because you don’t have a choice. But that makes you prickly with everything going on around you.

Sometimes acknowledging this emotion can help you through. Try venting by writing in a journal, or even take up blogging. Reach out to a support group, either in your local community or online.

Worry

Let’s face it, a lot of your time is spent worrying about what’s happening in your life. Good intentions mean you want what’s best for your loved one. And when you can’t find solutions, it’s easy to worry about the outcomes. What if – you ask that again and again.

And it might not just be about the one you’re caring for. Your life is changing in big ways too. Worrying about one thing only leads to others, and pretty soon you’re one big bundle of nerves.

If you find yourself obsessing about situations, it can lead to headaches, stomach aches, and eventually anxiety or depression.

Break the pattern. When you notice yourself in an endless pattern of worry, stop. How can you change what’s happening? What are solutions? Sometimes changing your patterns is all it takes.

You should also ask for help in many ways. Finding in home care so you can take a break might help. Joining groups or activities can give you a chance to take a break.

Don’t forget, this is about you too.

Caregiving Isn’t A Male or Female Job, But There Is A Difference

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The average caregiver comes as little surprise. The majority of caregivers are women. On average, they are right around 50 years old. And overwhelmingly, these women are caring for a parent or other close family member.

But it isn’t a “woman” job. And studies show it’s changing as the population continues to age. Men increasingly are taking on the responsibility of caregiving, and they do so in different ways.

Men Are Managers

When men approach a problem, they look for a solution. They look at a project and attempt to manage it in the most efficient way. So it’s of little surprise that they similarly manage caregiving. They look at caregiving as a project with pieces that can be farmed out to those who have the greatest skills. Men are more likely to hire from outside sources and accept help when asked. If they don’t have experience with something, they’ll be happy to find someone who is.

Men Are Solution-Based

Men tend to tackle one detail at a time. Men look at things emotionally and look for well-rounded solutions. Maybe that’s why men ask for help more often than women. When small details come up on a male caregiver’s radar, they Google it, seek out resources for answers, ask more questions to those around them. They evaluate to find a solution.

Men Are Doers

Give a male caregiver a task, and he’ll gladly jump in. Ask a male caregiver about his feelings and stressors, and he’s less likely to share. Male caregivers aren’t as likely to open up to other family members, friends, or co-workers about their struggles. They are more likely to internalize what’s happening in their lives, and have stress-related medical problems to show for it.

Of course, there are more subtle differences, depending on who is being cared for. Men will approach caregiving for a spouse differently than they would for a mom or dad.

But just like women, men can benefit most by reaching out and building a social community around them during this process. To stay away from burn out, include:

Joining a support group either in person or online. Get specific, so you can find people experiencing similar events.

Taking care of you. Continue going to the health club and working out. Find ways to eat healthily and keep your weight in check.

Asking for help when you need it. No question or request is too small. If you need help, find someone who can help you reach the solution you need.

Take Control Of Heart Health as a Woman and a Caregiver

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Heart disease is one of the leading causes of deaths. Here in America, heart disease impacts one in three. By the time a person celebrates their 80th birthday, over 85 percent will have heart disease.

Women are particularly vulnerable because they are twice as likely to receive a wrong diagnosis, as well as being mistreated when they go in. Heart disease isn’t just a man’s disease. It’s just as prevalent in women. And because women are more likely to act as caregivers for spouses and parents, it means they are at added risks.

Heart disease refers to the whole spectrum of heart conditions. It can include congenital heart defects, arrhythmias, or hardening of the arteries. With age, they lead to heart attacks and strokes. While we think of them as old age diseases, nothing shines the light on heart disease more than losing a celebrity in their 40s or 50s of heart disease to bring to light how many this impacts.

Hypertension – also known as high blood pressure – impacts one in three, with nearly half of those diagnosed being women. This is where blood flows through your arteries at a higher pressure level than normal.

New guidelines have recently been released, meaning even more people are included in the risk factors. Healthy systolic blood pressure has moved from 140 to 130, meaning more people are at risk.

By keeping your heart in the healthy range, there is less strain on your heart. That means it keeps your body healthier, putting you at less risk for developing heart conditions, or other diseases associated with heart disease.

If you don’t know what your current blood pressure reading is, the best place to start is by tracking your results. There are many blood pressure monitors on the market today, many with online features that can help you make better choices for your health. They can also let you connect your results with your doctor.

You can use your results to start making healthy choices in your life. Exercise is crucial for keeping risk factors down. A good exercise program includes things like walking, hiking, jogging, or even aerobic exercise classes depending on your current heart condition. You should always work with a doctor to develop the right program for you.

Don’t forget strength training. Resistance training has heart benefits that can help increase muscle mass and help with weight control. This includes things like squats, lunges, leg lifts, and other core strengthening exercises.

Talk with your doctor about finding a gym near you. Many places today offer multigenerational approaches to health, and can include exercise classes for the one you’re caring for, as well as opportunities for you too.

The best way to take control of your health is to know where you currently stand.

How To Balance Work and Caregiving Responsibilities

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Are you a caregiver? Are you also an employee? Just when you think life is difficult, the challenges can continue to mount. How do you fit everything in?

It’s a balancing act that never ends. How can you make it less stressful?

Research Your Rights

Don’t just sit back and stay quiet about your responsibilities. Instead, dive in and do a little research into what laws and regulations are in place to protect you.

The Family and Medical Leave Act – FMLA – allows employees to take up to 12 weeks of leave each year to care for a child, spouse, or parent. Workers are guaranteed a position of similar skill and pay as they held before they took the leave. It only applies to workplaces with 50 or more employees, and you must have been in your current position for at least a year. The leave is unpaid, so that can add to your stress.

Also, different cities and municipalities have passed their own laws regarding family leave, so it’s wise to check with your local government offices to find out what laws apply to you. Read your employee handbook. Check with your state labor office. And spend some time with Google to learn your rights.

Talk With Your Employer

In some cases, employees are nervous about speaking up about their situation. If this defines your approach, rethink your strategy. Transparency is a good thing. It can explain distractions and time away. It can also make employers more aware of your needs.

Being honest with both your supervisor and your human resources department gives them a better understanding as to what you’re up against. They will better understand when you call in sick, for example, and you’ll be able to talk more freely about what’s happening at home.

This also gives you a chance to think of ways you can create a win/win situation for everyone.

If you frequently need time off to bring mom to doctors offices, you can discuss how you can be available by bringing your own device with you wherever you go. Or maybe flextime will benefit you both – you can have off the mornings you need, while working late into an evening when nobody else chooses to work late.

Ask For Help

Help comes in all different ways. Hire a housekeeper to help keep your home clean. Hire an in home caregiver to help keep your mom company while you’re at work. By freeing up even a few hours each week, you’ll have a greater chance of feeling like you have more balance in place.

You should also ask your HR department what ways they can help. For example, some agencies offer financial help or leave sharing programs where employees who don’t use sick or annual leave can donate it to others in need. This can give you a chance to have a few less worries when you’re in stressful situations.

Reassess Your Work Life

Balance is always a question of what works for you. It’s not something that remains stable, it changes from day to day. The better relationship you build with your employer, the more flexibility you may have.

Can you work-share with another employee in a similar situation? Can you take a part time position instead of remaining full time?

Caregiving can be a profound experience, one that changes every day. This might be the perfect time to switch gears, spend time with the one you love, and reassess life’s path now and into the future.

Why It’s Important To Establish A Caregiving Routine

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Have you ever noticed that much of your life exists on routine?

When you’re a kid, routine is everything. You get up in time for school, do homework at a certain time, have a bedtime to ensure you get enough sleep.

Then when you move out on your own, you establish another routine. Up in the morning to get to work, in bed at a certain time to ensure you get enough rest.

It only seems natural that when you move into caregiving mode, that you’d also develop a routine. But when your loved one is frail or ill, it can seem like it’s 24 hours of chaos where it’s anything but routine.

If you’re loved one has cognitive issues, they may struggle with daily tasks. You might start living by doing whatever is necessary, whenever it is required. But people with dementia often struggle more when they don’t have structure in their lives. They don’t act without being told. Without focus, the who, what, and where become confusing. They may act out more without the structure.

What should you do?

Move forward with new expectations

One of the most challenging tasks as a caregiver is to adjust your expectations. You’re used to your loved one the way they used to be. Part of you wants to preserve that and fall back on it whenever you can. Yet your loved one may never return to that position.

Do what you can do each day. Have enough structure to keep you on task, but be willing to let things go if you sense friction. Your routine might be to get up at a certain time of the day, and to eat meals together at certain times. Go with the flow if they’re just not capable of it, and need something different depending on the day.

Stick with the familiar

Your loved one probably becomes more agitated when they experience new things. Now isn’t the time to introduce new activities. Instead, focus on what your loved one loves and has expressed interest in in the past.

You should also give even more time to individual projects. Especially as your loved one’s condition changes, it may no longer be easy to finish things in specific amounts of time. Don’t fill every minute of the day, especially with back to back activities. This will help keep your stress levels down too.

Routines are important at every stage of life. And part of that is testing what works and what doesn’t, and leaving plenty of time for adjustments. Frustration almost always comes from setting expectations too high. If you keep your own anxiety in check, you’ll be more likely to create a peaceful life for the both of you.

Putting Music Therapy Into Your Caregiver Toolbox

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Think back to your youth; what do you remember most? In many cases, your memory is attached to a song.

Music is a part of our lives. Our mother’s sing to us as tiny infants in their arms. We learn rhyming songs to help us learn common, everyday chores. If I say A-B-C-D-E-F-G, you probably start humming the rest of the song.

Why the brain and body processes music the way it does remains a mystery. We’re only starting to discover how important music is in our lives. But we do know that as long as people have been on this planet, music has been an important part of the way we live. Music allows us to storytell in an animated way. And while you may have trouble remembering everything you studied for a test the night before, chances are you can recall the words to your favorite music from decades earlier.

Maybe it’s because speech uses smaller parts of our brain than music. Scientists know that music fires off almost every part of our brain, stimulating responses from everyone who hears it. Even if you haven’t heard a song in years, you’re likely to associate it with an event in your past, triggering emotion based on that time in your life.

That’s the basis behind music therapy. In numerous clinical trials, therapists have great results when they play music to help patients with chronic conditions. Adults with dementia and Alzheimer’s show remarkable differences when introduced to music therapy, when compared to those who don’t.

Even with these chronic conditions, not all parts of the brain are impacted. The hippocampus, which controls memory and emotional impact, remains intact. When music is played, it often triggers long term memories, and can cause people that haven’t spoken in years to suddenly break out in song.

Research has also shown that making music is different than listening. Actively taking part in a song activates even more in the brain, and helps with balance and movement in cognitive and limbic areas. That’s why music therapy often starts with listening to old, familiar tunes, but quickly moves into production to get the body involved.

While music therapy isn’t a miracle cure, it can be good for both the caregiver and the one they’re caring for. Instead of witnessing loss after loss, they can suddenly experience something that brings their loved one joy. They can possibly sing or even dance together, helping them remember the good times once again.

Have you ever tried music therapy?

Why Caregivers Should Evaluate Mental Health Too

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We often notice the little changes in our loved ones first. A dent on a car. Laundry piling up. Bills left unpaid. A change in routine.

And as caregivers, we step in to get things done. We become fixers. We work to ensure our loved ones receive the care that they need.

But what we often overlook is their mental health.

As changes occur as people age, they may gradually accept help from their loved ones. They may internalize the changes without letting on how they feel. And that can come out in the form of depression.

A report put out by the Center for Disease Control has stated that 20 percent of Americans over the age of 55 will experience a mental health issue. That includes anxiety, depression, or other serious cognitive impairments.

It’s often difficult to recognize the signs. If your loved one is already experiencing complications from chronic conditions like dementia or Alzheimer’s how do you recognize mental health issues above and beyond? That’s why it’s often misdiagnosed and left untreated even when seeing medical professionals on a regular basis.

If an older person expresses feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, has changes in appetite or sleep patterns, or frequently complains of aches and pains that don’t improve with treatment, it could be a sign of something more.

There are two ways to deal with this as a caregiver.

First, recognize changes in your loved one. If you notice mood swings and radical changes in behavior, bring it up at your loved one’s next medical visit. Medication management may be required to get dosages where it helps their outlook on life.

Second, work to improve quality of life. What brings joy into your lives? What little things can you do to have impact? What brought joy into their lives in the past? It’s the little things that matter most. And even small activities can have major impact on their health.

Happiness doesn’t have to go away just because we have chronic conditions or push age limits. No matter how old we get, we can appreciate everything we have, every day of our lives.

If you suspect your loved one might need help with mental health too, step in and find the help you need.

Is Your In Home Caregiver Making These Mistakes?

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Caregiving isn’t an exact science. Likewise, in home caregiving services aren’t all the same.

If you’re weighing your options, it’s important to remember that every caregiver takes their own approach. The critical part of the process is to keep communication lines open both with your caregiver and with the in home caregiving staff.

We find the mistakes people complain about the most can usually be cleared up with a quick conversation.

Multiple Caregiver Confusion

If you use round the clock care, you’ll have several caregivers providing for your loved one’s needs. Each caregiver will have their own approach, and it’s natural to prefer one over the other. The key is ensuring they all provide what’s needed the most in a way you desire. How will you keep all caregivers on target with needs? Who will be the point person for ensuring everything is completed according to the client’s needs and desires? When in doubt, ask. And find a solution both you and your caregiving service can adhere to.

Punctuality

Occasional lateness is human – we all get stuck in traffic once in a while. But continual tardiness can be an inconvenience and have a huge impact on caregiving needs. Instead of silently fuming, address lateness the moment it happens. You can get a pretty good feel for punctuality after a few days. If it appears to be a problem, discuss your concerns with the staff.

Inconsistent Care

We know a lot of caregivers haven’t received the same levels of training. Some in home caregiving services are merely looking for an individual they can send out on a job. Other services spend the time prequalifying potential caregivers using many different criteria. How is the service you’re considering evaluating their caregivers? Do they update their skills? Do they require further training? It’s okay to ask what skill sets a caregiver has, and how they approach further advancement.

Cultural Differences

We all have certain ways of saying things, and different standards for cooking our meals. It’s a family thing. It’s a cultural thing. And sometimes caregivers do things their way – it’s what they’re used to. Staying silent only exacerbates the situation. If you have needs and desires, voice them from the beginning.

In home caregiving is more than just caregiving; it’s the start of an intimate relationship. And like any relationship, good communication is mandatory.

Are you thinking about using in home caregiving for your loved one? The best place to start is with a complimentary consultation.

What If You Care Too Much?

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Feeling tired physically and emotionally? Facing burnout but struggling with the knowledge you can’t? Can’t quite put a finger on why you feel the way you do? You might have compassion fatigue.

Compassion fatigue is described as having physical and emotional exhaustion mixed with extreme decreases in your ability to empathize with the one you are caring for. It’s a form of traumatic stress, resulting in the build up of stress through helping or wanting to help those in need.

Compassion fatigue is often referred to as burnout. But they aren’t the same things. Burnout happens over time. Compassion fatigue is less predictable and comes on suddenly without warning. How do you know if it’s happening to you?

First, get educated

Caregiving is as much an education for you as it is for the one you’re caring for. The most common signs of compassion fatigue include: [Read more…]

How Much Do Your Feet Reveal About Your Health?

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How do you know if you have a health problem? It turns out, your feet might alert you to many of your problems.

Have you ever noticed dry, flaky feet? Tried everything to stop the peeling; even moisturizer won’t work? It might be a thyroid problem. When your thyroid stops working, it doesn’t produce the correct amount of hormones your body needs. This affects many things in your body, including tissue growth, blood pressure, and your nervous system development. If your dry skin has settled in around your feet, or if it’s worsened with cracks that won’t heal, it’s time for your doctor to check your thyroid and ensure it’s working properly.

Have your toes suddenly gone bald? It could signal poor blood circulation. Peripheral arterial disease – or PAD – is a buildup of plaque in the system. Its signs include thin or shiny toes, a decrease in hair on and around your feet and ankles.

Do you suddenly have numbness in your foot? It’s usually a sign of low blood flow. You’ve probably experienced this from time to time; it happens if you sit at a weird angle or sat in a position for too long. We often say our foot has gone to sleep. But if it happens regularly, don’t ignore it. It can be a sign of peripheral neuropathy that’s related to type 2 diabetes. [Read more…]