Adeste In-Home Care - Colorado

In-Home Care in Colorado

Why Caregivers Should Evaluate Mental Health Too

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We often notice the little changes in our loved ones first. A dent on a car. Laundry piling up. Bills left unpaid. A change in routine.

And as caregivers, we step in to get things done. We become fixers. We work to ensure our loved ones receive the care that they need.

But what we often overlook is their mental health.

As changes occur as people age, they may gradually accept help from their loved ones. They may internalize the changes without letting on how they feel. And that can come out in the form of depression.

A report put out by the Center for Disease Control has stated that 20 percent of Americans over the age of 55 will experience a mental health issue. That includes anxiety, depression, or other serious cognitive impairments.

It’s often difficult to recognize the signs. If your loved one is already experiencing complications from chronic conditions like dementia or Alzheimer’s how do you recognize mental health issues above and beyond? That’s why it’s often misdiagnosed and left untreated even when seeing medical professionals on a regular basis.

If an older person expresses feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, has changes in appetite or sleep patterns, or frequently complains of aches and pains that don’t improve with treatment, it could be a sign of something more.

There are two ways to deal with this as a caregiver.

First, recognize changes in your loved one. If you notice mood swings and radical changes in behavior, bring it up at your loved one’s next medical visit. Medication management may be required to get dosages where it helps their outlook on life.

Second, work to improve quality of life. What brings joy into your lives? What little things can you do to have impact? What brought joy into their lives in the past? It’s the little things that matter most. And even small activities can have major impact on their health.

Happiness doesn’t have to go away just because we have chronic conditions or push age limits. No matter how old we get, we can appreciate everything we have, every day of our lives.

If you suspect your loved one might need help with mental health too, step in and find the help you need.

How Caregiving Can Make You Healthier, Wealthier, and Wiser

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So much talk in the caregiving industry is about the stress, the headaches, and the difficulties. It’s easy to overlook the fact that there’s a lot of goodness in the process too.

Helping others makes us better as a society. It feels good to offer kind words and a helping hand.

If you’re a caregiver, you’ve already recognized that it’s one of the most unrecognized, thankless jobs you’ll ever take on. And if you focus on that part of it, the difficulties can seem insurmountable. But if you look at it from another angle, caregiving can add so much to your life.

Caregiving Makes You Healthy

If you read a lot of the information posted about caring for an elderly relative, it’s easy to assume that depression and physical problems are close behind. Not so, shows a growing amount of evidence. In one study, the researchers found that caregiving actually provides more benefits than we think. Most caregivers are socially more active. They work hard to give their loved one the best life possible. That means taking them to medical appointments, finding social activities they can do together, and reaching out for resources and a helping hand when they need it most.

Caregiving Makes You Wealthy

The true definition of wealthy is to lead a rich life; to have a great deal of resources. Wealthy steps beyond monetary resources and also encompasses the fullness of your life. We’re wired to be kind. We’re wired to reach out a helping hand to those who are less fortunate than ourselves. That’s what makes humans what they are. Nothing can feel worse than becoming isolated and on your own. Through caregiving, you take on the responsibility of someone else, and it can lead to allowing your take-charge, can-do attitude to move you forward. That not only enriches your life, but the person you are caring for too.

Caregiving Makes You Wise

There’s a song by John Michael Montgomery that goes:

Life’s a dance you learn as you go
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow
Don’t worry about what you don’t know
Life’s a dance you learn as you go

That sums up caregiving well. It comes upon you when you least expect it. And if you step up to the plate and do it well, it adds to your life in many ways. Sometimes you’ll take charge. Sometimes you’ll fall. Sometimes you’ll learn amazing things about you and the one you’re caring for. It’s life.

Caregiving is a natural part of our lives. It happens to all of us at some point in time. And when you step up and do it well, it can help you become your best yet.

Get Ready For Winter With These Life-Saving Safety Tips

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One day the temperatures are rising high enough to use the air conditioner all day, the next they’re plummeting low enough to use the heater full-blast. That’s autumn here across the Rocky Mountain region. It’s unpredictable, but we’re used to it.

If you’ve lived here long enough, you know how to adjust to the changes. You wear layers in the morning. You keep your windows closed even if you’re only leaving the house for a short period. You may have even automated your home, making your home’s temperature controls available on your mobile device. Whether you need to cool things down or warm things up, it’s only one push of a button away.

That works for you. But that can be difficult for older adults, especially if they are vulnerable. According to the Center for Disease Control, winter weather takes its toll on this part of the population, increasing their risk of dying from weather-related events. Elderly have thinning skin and often have less body fat, making them vulnerable to frostbite. They are less likely to sense the cold, meaning they are more susceptible to cold related injury.

Whether you just check in on your parents every once in a while, or are their 24 hour of the day caregiver, there are a few things you should do to get ready for the winter.

Dress In Layers

We all develop a sense of style along life’s way. Your loved one might still prefer dresses when she goes out, or even inappropriate shoes for winter conditions. While you might not be able to talk her out of all of it, you can offer more appropriate selections. Make a day of it; go shopping and out to lunch. If she has to have a dress, add a sweater to go with it. Have her try on boots as well as shoes. Invest in warm slippers with a non-slip sole. And if you can’t go out, order in. Many places online make ordering and returning easy.

Stock Up

If your loved one has a pattern such as going to the store every day, consider stocking up on the things they use most. If they like to run up to the coffee shop, consider buying an easy-to-use coffee pot and gourmet coffee for them to use in emergencies. If they run out to pick up pet supplies often, create a stash of supplies they can draw from in emergencies – canned food, cat litter, or absorbent pads can all be stored indefinitely.

Have A Plan

Sometimes the power goes out and doesn’t come back on for hours. This can put your loved one at risk. If you can’t get there, who can? It’s good to have people as your backup plan. While neighbors are a good resource, ensure you have someone outside the neighborhood in the event of widespread power outages. While a neighbor is a good choice to ensure they stay warm and won’t fall if they go out, it’s important to always have someone available who can jump in and help in an emergency.

Check The House and Car

If you observe both the inside and outside of your loved one’s home in the autumn, you’ll find potential hazards before they become more. Are pipes exposed? Take action to avoid burst pipes. Who will keep the sidewalks shoveled? Hire a neighbor to get it done before your loved one rises. If they do drive, ensure they have a good set of tires.

Check Medications

Do you know how often they receive their prescriptions and from where? If they can’t get out of the house for a week, do they always have enough on hand? Are they stored correctly if the temperatures in the house dip low? Consider setting up prescriptions to be mailed to their home. Be sure they always have at least a week supply to ensure they never run out in an emergency.

What other winter tips do you have to ensure your loved one stays safe all winter long?

Is Aging In Place The Right Choice For You?

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Aging in place. It’s become somewhat of a buzzword in the industry. They sell it well.

Who doesn’t want to stay in their homes for as long as possible? When we look around our homes, we see warmth and comfort. It’s a place we can be who we are.

Aging in place is more than living in the space we’ve called home for years. Aging in place is also about having the resources necessary to transition to different phases of our lives as easily as possible.

When remodeling a home, different life changes are taken into consideration. Doorways are expanded to handle wheelchair accessibility. Fixtures are upgraded for easy on/off access. Ramps are installed instead of stairs.

But aging in place isn’t just about your home. Aging in place also refers to how well you maintain your lifestyle through all changes of life. It takes into account your personal, practical, financial, and spiritual needs as well. Things like:

Personal – How well are everyday needs met? When a person can no longer perform daily tasks unassisted, who will help? This is often a system of paid and personal help.

Practical – A home always takes work to maintain it. How will you fit weekend chores and “honey do” items into regular routines?

Financial – Aging in place may put a roof over your head, but it doesn’t cover all the incidentals to living. Where will income come from to pay to maintain your lifestyle?

Spiritual – A healthy, happy spiritual life means having a sense of well-being. No matter who you are or what phase of life you’re in, it’s important to have daily routines that provide you with peace and calm.

Aging in place can leave a person feeling a little isolated when they no longer can get out of the house. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

If you think about all of your options – not just the height of a sink or the width of a doorway – body, mind, and spirit can all be taken care of in the right manner. And aging in place can lead to a happier, calmer life.

How Loneliness Impacts The One You Love

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As we age, we go through a lot of changes. We face empty nests. We lose spouses to divorce and death. And while some people enjoy being alone, many also face loneliness for the first time. The Administration on Aging states:

Over the past 10 years, the population age 65 and over increased from 37.2 million in 2006 to 49.2 million in 2016 (a 33% increase) and is projected to almost double to 98 million in 2060.

About one in every seven, or 15.2%, of the population is an older American.

About 28% (13.8 million) of noninstitutionalized older persons lived alone (9.3 million women, 4.5 million men).

Almost half of older women (45%) age 75 and over lived alone.

Being alone is different than loneliness. And for a senior already facing an array of changes, loneliness increases their risks of mental, emotional, and physical wellness.

If you’re concerned about a family member, your reason is well-founded. An isolated senior is more at risk for living an unhealthy lifestyle. Which means they’re also at greater risk for losing their independence sooner, and requiring more medical intervention down the road.

What can you do?

Introduce your loved one to technology. While many seniors are still scared of being online, if you make it easy, they can find all kinds of friendships and resources to keep them happy and entertained. Consider finding local senior technology resources in your area. Then sign them up, teach them to use it, and check in to ensure they are using sites to their full potential.

Encourage social settings. Just because a senior lives alone doesn’t mean they have to be alone. Look for senior centers that offer everything from lunch dates to classes and special outings. A date on the calendar gives them something to look forward to.

Find transportation that works. Is mobility an issue? Are you nervous to push them driving even more, especially after dark? Look for options. Uber and Lyft have revolutionized the way we travel around town. And if you’re loved one only uses them a few times a month, it can be a lot less expensive than having a car. If you find a car service that works well for your loved one, consider hiring them exclusively for her outings.

Look for support groups. There are groups for just about everything you can imagine. If your loved one is a widow or a widower, a grief support group may help. If they have health issues, a specific group may give them the tools they need to live a happier life.

3 Ways To Avoid Confrontation When Talking With Your Aging Parent

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Being a caregiver can take a lot of time, energy, and patience. And if you’ve been providing care for any length of time, you know “patience” can sometimes be your weakest point. Have you ever become frustrated and said things like:

“I told you that yesterday.”

Or

“Don’t you listen to me?”

You might have even said it with a tad bit more frustration than you’d intended.

Your parents might already know their memory and cognitive ability isn’t what it was when they were younger. These constant reminders can only fuel their frustrations. And when both sides of the caregiving table are upset, nothing good can come of it.

You might have justification to be annoyed. But as the caregiver, it is your responsibility to find the best approach. How must your mom or dad feel as they realize they can’t do things the way they once did? With just this in mind, you can start to see how simple changes can mean everything.

“I told you that yesterday.”

Let’s start with one of the most common phrases. Daily life is filled with little things. Getting ready for the day. Preparing a meal. Watching television. It seems simple enough, but have you upgraded their technology and they aren’t quite sure how to use it?

New televisions have remote controls straight out of the future. There are buttons on top of buttons. And the writing – forget about reading it. Even if it did make sense, they might not have a clue about what it is. Roku? All they want to do is watch a show. And it can lead to a lot of frustration.

If you find yourself saying, “I told you that yesterday” multiple times on the same subject, look for a solution. In the case of the complicated television, talk with your cable provider or do a little research online and invest in a senior-friendly remote that can the process easier. And save the “complicated” remote for when you watch television.

“You can do it yourself.”

Sometimes your parent complains about simple tasks, things you assume they should be able to do themselves. Tying a shoelace. Buttoning a coat. Changing a lightbulb. What they don’t want to tell you is it’s difficult for them, or even downright impossible. It adds shame into an already difficult situation, where they realize they can’t perform at a level they used to handle easily.

Stop and take a moment to see how they perform the task. Watch and see where the problem lies. Maybe they can bend over to complete the task. Maybe their fingers can move or grasp the way they would like. And rather than telling you, the task just doesn’t get done. But if you watch and see where the problem lies, you can look for solutions. Instead of shoelaces, how about slip-ons? There’s always a solution to make things a little bit easier.

“You need to use your cane/walker.”

Needing assistance to walk is a sign of getting old. And no matter how old a person gets, they always think old is way off in the future. Including your parents.

You might realize using a cane or walker gives them more stability, and can make them more mobile. But to them, it’s a sign of weakness. As a result, few will use it unless they see the advantages. This is your in.

Focus on what they can do if they use it. “I love our walks and I want to make sure you don’t trip and fall and break something.” This is usually one of the best paths to success. They don’t want to break anything either.

If you look for ways to keep your own stress levels down, chances are you can pass that along to your aging parent. Patience is the key. The adage of “stop and smell the roses” comes to mind. If you spend your time in the now, doing what you can to make each moment its best, you’ll both enjoy the process a lot more.

Feeling Unappreciated As A Caregiver? Do This

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Caregiving is a thankless job. No matter how hard you work each day, the one you’re caring for rarely shows appreciation. In many cases, they can’t. And that can take its toll on your well-being.

Part of you rationalizes this. You understand it. But still, it hurts. Your negative feeling keep building until you feel like you’re ready to explode. How do you cope?

Remind yourself why they don’t show appreciation

This may sound simple, but sometimes your negative feelings can be stopped just by stepping back and assessing why this is happening. If your loved one has dementia, for example, they often struggle just to get through the day. They can’t express their basic feelings; to show appreciation is beyond their capabilities.

When you step back and remember why you’re doing this in the first place, it allows you to feel appreciation for yourself – for taking the initiative to be there for someone who means a lot in your life.

Celebrate your own accomplishments

If your family can’t or won’t thank you for what you’re doing, shower yourself with appreciation instead. Create moments during your week where you do things just for you. Join groups both online and in your local area that allow you to connect with people beyond your caregiving duties. This will let you stay connected to who you are as a person, outside and beyond the tasks you take on as a caregiver.

Use humor

Sometimes people get caught up in their own lives and problems and forget the basics. Remind them. If you’ve done something above and beyond, or just want to let your loved ones know you’re human too, take a lighthearted approach. Say something like: “No need to thank me; it’s all part of this job” after completing a task. Sometimes lightening the mood can not only take away stress, but it can also make both of you feel better. A good chuckle is always a good thing.

Remember your performance isn’t based on recovery

In many situations, we work hard to get to the finish line. We go to school and work towards graduation. We work hard at our jobs in hopes of a promotion. But it doesn’t work the same way with caregiving. We often work harder only to see the one we love fail a little bit more.

That’s why you should never judge yourself based on what’s happening. You can’t judge how your actions helped your loved one yesterday, and compare it to work performed today. It’ll never be the same and can change from day to day.

You are making a difference no matter what’s required each day. By reframing the way you approach each task can help you realize that even a grumble might be the only way they can truly say: thank you.

How To Respond To Your Loved One When They Ask The Same Questions Over and Over Again

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When your loved one asks you a question the first time, you may go into detail and provide a thoughtful answer.

By the time they’ve asked the same question for the tenth time, your nerves are frayed and your temper starts to rise. That’s when your caregiving skills are tested once again.

It’s easy to snap. When you’re tired, hearing the same thing over and over again can make you question everything. But it’s important to remember that the person you are caring for isn’t doing this to frustrate you. Repetitive behavior is caused by fear and stress.

When your loved one has dementia or Alzheimer’s, they are often unsure of what’s happening. And that can leave them feeling scared and unsure. They repeat a question because they’re looking for reassurance from you that everything will be okay.

Approach it from this angle and you’ll quickly reduce the stress.

Shorten your answers

It’s tempting to sit down and provide a thoughtful answer, especially to a question that can be answered in many ways. And while that may be appropriate in some cases, when you start to feel tension in your loved one, find the quickest answer possible and move on. Avoid saying things like: I just told you that. That only leads to more stress.

Give a hug or a touch

You might be busy when you provide your answers. You might have your hands full and be on the move. But when you see the repetition pattern happening, put everything down and provide a little touch. You can hold their hands and give a gentle squeeze. Or lean in for a hug. This simple calming move may be just what they need.

Change the scene

Sometimes the only way to stop the questioning is to do something else instead. Change their focus by doing something different. Bring out a book to read. Ask if they’d enjoy a cup of tea. Or find their sweater and take them outside for a walk. Even simple chores such as sorting laundry can put their mind in a different place.

Walk away

When all else fails, give yourself a few minutes to calm down. Go to the bathroom. Run to the laundry room to put in a load of clothes. Find a meditation app you like and “escape” for five minutes.

Give yourself the time you need to center and calm. Because you can only provide the best caregiving you can give when you’re at your best.

When Your Mom Keeps Asking To Go Home

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One of the most difficult things you can hear from a parent is: “I want to go home.”

It’s difficult in any circumstance, but especially if they are already at home. How do you respond? What do you do?

First, understand the reasoning behind their request. They aren’t asking to go home as much as they are looking for comfort. Fear and anxiety are bubbling up, and they aren’t sure what to do. They want the familiar. Asking to go home is a way of returning to what they know.

What can you do? Don’t get discouraged. This might be something you deal with over and over again. Having a few responses at hand should help you through it quickly.

1. Provide comfort

If you keep in mind that what your parent really wants is comfort, it can make your response easier. Realize they are anxious or scared. Reassure them. Use a calm voice to talk to them rather than letting your speech elevate. Sit down and put your arm around them or give them a hug. Try a comfy blanket, or even a stuffed animal or therapy doll. Sometimes a gentle touch is all it will take.

2. Avoid explanations

As an adult child, your natural tendency will be to react to their questions or statement. But an answer of “You’re already home” will only make her more agitated. You can’t reason with them because that level of conversation no longer works.

3. Redirect actions

A hug is a good first step. Then move to something they like to do instead. If they’re pacing; pace with them. Then direct them to the kitchen to help make a cup of tea to enjoy together. If they’re able to walk outside, try taking a walk around the neighborhood and point out new things in your environment. Flowers in bloom or a butterfly flying by can be great distractions.

You can also use questions to help her move to a different place and time.

“What do you like best about home?”

“What’s your favorite room?”

“What do you like to do when you’re at home?”

This gives her the chance to focus on things they like. And hopefully, push her fears and insecurities by the wayside.

Think Assisted Living Is The Answer? You Won’t After Reading These Tips To Keep Your Parents At Home

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Depending on your parents’ health, caregiving may be quickly finding its way into your life as a full time job. Maybe even beyond. Are you on call day and night? Do you help them as much at 11pm as you do 11am?

You’re tired. You’re frustrated. You want your life back!

And when many adult children reach this point, they look at assisted living. But is it really the answer? Or are you exchanging one problem for another? One that will cost you a lot of money and energy in the long run.

There is another solution. But before we get there, let’s start with a little experiment.

How much care are you really providing?

Sometimes it’s difficult to really put a finger on how much care you’re providing. Many adult children are surprised at how quickly the time adds up.

For the next week, write down every task you do for your parents. If you pick up something at the drugstore for them, write it down. If you stop by their home to ensure they are taking their medicine, write it down. If you call to check in, write it down. No matter how large or small the task, jot down a few notes so you can get a clear picture of what you do every day. After a few days, you’ll see your life in living color.

Now it’s time for a little evaluation.

Are you surprised at how much care you are providing?

Don’t negate the importance of every task. It’s easy to say: But I had to stop by the drugstore anyway. While that might be the case, it does take extra time to wait in line for a prescription or compare labels on a new product. Would you have waited until you had more on your list if the shopping would have only been for you?

All of this takes time away from the important things in your own life. If you’re spending your time on chores and caregiving for your parents, it’s taking away from your life with your family and friends. And that can add up to insurmountable stress.

You love them. And you don’t mind. It’s what adult children do. We hear that a lot.

But it should never reach the point of overwhelm. It should never become a full time job.

There are lots of options.

Here’s the part most adult children get wrong. They move from “help” to assisted living without batting an eye. Because there are so many assisted living facilities popping up all over town, it’s become a mindset that it’s the natural progression for our parents when they start to fail. Yet there are very few situations that can’t be met by keeping your parents in the comfort of their home instead.

Because even when you put your loved one in assisted living, that won’t end your tasks. You may sign up for assisted living, but chances are the “package” you purchase, no matter how many zeros are at the end of the monthly fee, still won’t cover all there is to do.

If your mom doesn’t like the food, you’ll be bringing her meals. If she can’t make her own bed, the laundry service won’t be enough. If she gets lonely with only a few minutes of interaction with the staff each day, you’ll be dealing with the consequences. And that equates to hours of your time. Time you hoped to get back.

Instead, look to in-home caregiving. It provides you with all the care you need in the comfort of your parents’ home. It provides you with peace of mind as well as precious time. And what’s best is you can hire it 24 hours of the day if needed. And the cost will be a welcome relief when compared to assisted living; a savings that will ensure a better life for mom and dad.

Want to learn more? We’re just a phone call away.