Remember what weeknight dinners and long lazy weekends used to be like? After stressful hours at your job, you would finally have time to enjoy each others company.
That seemed to change when the caregiving role moved in. No longer was it about enjoying each other, it became all about making sure the one in need had it all. No longer was it about give and take, it became more about give … and give.
The relationship seemed to grow lopsided. As much as you gave, your partner simply needed more. Weeknight dinners became more of a chore to make sure your loved one got the nutrition he needed. Sharing ideas, hopes and dreams? That all went to the wayside as caregiving became your only course of action.
Marriage always has it’s stressors; yet this new road seems to make everything else pale by comparison.
How will you get through it all?
By stepping away.
Now more than ever, the need for stepping away once in a while and taking care of you is the most important thing you can do for your loved one. It will help you keep your sanity. It will give your marriage strength.
It will also allow both of you to to separate the reliance factor between you, and give you both much needed independence.
Stepping away allows you some time to breathe and relax. But it also allows your spouse the space to find out what he is truly capable of too. When he relies on you, when you do things for him “just because it’s easier”, he becomes dependent on you. By giving him occasional independence, he can discover his own strengths, his own capabilities, and become stronger in the process.
Stepping away may not be an easy thing to do. But there are ways to do bring it into your life.
Start with help
Can you leave your spouse alone? If so, alone time can help him become more self reliant. If not, in-home care is the perfect solution to help your loved one receive the care he needs, while giving you peace of mind while you attend to your own needs. In home care doesn’t have to be a 24 hour process, a few hours a week may be the perfect step towards bringing independence into both of your lives.
Look for reoccurring activities
Monthly meetings, clubs with weekly activities, even a yoga or tai chi class that meets an hour every week can help build schedule and routine into your week. It gives you something to look forward to, and give your spouse more of an appreciation for the time you are together.
Find special events
What are your interests? If you love books, for example, you may be able to find book clubs or even a writing group that meets on a regular basis. And the more you get involved, the more it can lead to other events – like a writers retreat in a resort community, or a book festival over a long weekend. Not only will these types of events give you an outing you need and deserve, it will also provide you with conversation once you get home.
While your new caregiving role may bring you together in ways you never thought about before, sometimes it takes stepping away to keep the romance alive. If you would like even more tips on how to successful approach your new caregiving role, give us a call today.